Avva

Avva,

I remember your rusty old suitcase where you stored all the new sarees you got for Diwali every year and never wore them because they’d get old. I remember how you used to like mirchis that dad brought. And I remember how you nodded your head to dialogues in soap operas on Sun TV. I remember your oval plate. I remember one of your gray nails. I remember that you asked me to get a blanket for you this time when I come home.

And I am really wholeheartedly sorry!

I am sorry for not having changed channels when you wanted to watch Sun TV.

I am sorry for fighting with you when you hung my inners in the balcony to sun dry them.

I am sorry that if I ever ate the last mirchi.

I am sorry for having made so much ruckus while you were sleeping.

I am sorry for being too busy to cut your nails.

I am sorry for not being able to get you the blanket you asked me.

I am sorry you had to be away in the end.

I am sorry I wasn’t there to perform your last rites.

I never imagined this day. I always took you for granted. For me you were always around. You told us you didn’t have anyone. You had us. You had Appa, Amma, Kiran and Charan.

It is beyond comprehension how much I miss you, avva! Rest in peace! 😦

– Forever your loving grandson